Becoming a Mother Again

When I wrote the letter from the editor for the Summer issue of Modern Handmade Child, I thought I had a few more weeks of my pregnancy left. As I sat there, with an aching back and swollen feet, feeling fatigued and overwhelmed, I thought to myself, ‘I’m not sure I could do this again’.

Pregnancy can take such a toll on a woman. In some ways, second (and I’m sure subsequent) pregnancies can be easier, as you've been through it before. In other ways, they can be a lot more challenging since you already have another little one(s) to tend to. But all of the difficulties are soon forgotten when you are holding your newborn in your arms. Little did I know that I would be doing just that sooner than I had thought.

We had all of the essentials ready: car seat installed, check. Bassinet set up, check. Stocked up on diapers and wipes, check. Clothes all washed and neatly folded, check.

Physically and emotionally, I was definitely ready. But mentally, I hadn’t quite prepared for the eventuality that the baby could come at any moment. So when my water broke three weeks before the due date, I was in a bit of shock. Many thoughts went racing through my mind...'it can’t be time already’...'do we have everything readyfor baby?’...'she wasn’t supposed to come for three more weeks’. But it didn’t make one bit of difference if I was ready for her arrival or not – she was on her way.

Once I got past the initial shock, the only thing I could do was to accept the reality that I was in fact in labor, and take action. We quickly finished packing our bag for the hospital, and dropped my daughter off at a friend’s house for the night. We arrived at the hospital, and just 2 short hours later, I was holding my baby in my arms.


There is something so magical about holding your baby for the first time. It’s a feeling that is incomparable to anything else in this world, and something that cannot easily be explained to those who have not experienced it. It is especially amazing if you have had a previous birth experience where you were not able to do so, such as I had with my first (she was immediately whisked off to the NICU due to breathing issues, and I was not able to hold her until day 2). So when my second daughter was born healthy and strong, I relished in the fact that I was able to hold her. In fact, I hardly put her down the entire time we were in the hospital!


I’m finding that I’m much more at ease becoming a mother the second time around. Although I’m just a few days postpartum, I already feel like I’m settling into motherhood again, and enjoying our new family of four. I feel calm, relaxed, and confident. As I hold my sweet baby girl, I gaze into her tiny eyes, which are filled with so much curiosity and wonder, and those thoughts about not being able to do this again disolve into ‘I definitely think I could do this again’. So will there be more babies in my future? That remains to be seen. For now, I will cherish this time as a mom to two beautiful girls.

Happy Mother's Day!

Inventing kisses

Sometimes three-year-olds can be frustrating. Other times they can be so incredibly sweet, it just makes your heart melt.

One night before bed, little g and I were giving each other eskimo kisses and butterfly kisses. Then suddenly she proclaimed, "I'm going to give you a laga kiss!"

"What's a laga kiss?" I asked.

"It goes like this," she said, as she rubbed her little button nose against my cheek.

Awwww.....

These are the moments that I will cherish forever. ♥

Growing Up

Since my husband and I recently both had a few days off in a row, I decided to take some time to finally finish editing home videos and creating photo slide shows to make a dvd of my daughter's entire first year. It has been a lot of fun to look back on her early days, and makes me realize how grown up she is already. It seems that nearly everyday now she is reaching new milestones. It's hard to believe that only a year ago she was just learning to talk and communicate. Now she's telling us stories, talking about her day, and even attempting to boss us around!

While all these changes are very exciting, they can be overwhelming at times too. I think we've reached an age where she really finds in more enjoyable to go to daycare than to stay home with me. She definitely benefits not just from the activities at daycare, but also the social time with her friends too. It can be challenging to balance her needs with mine, and to squeeze everything into a day. Especially on a day like today, when I have a lot on my to do list, and she decides she does not need to nap. And it's often too cold these days to play outside for very long, so it's difficult for her to burn off all that extra energy she has. (I can only imagine how much I could do if I had half of the energy of a 2 year old!) Ah, the struggles of motherhood. Here's to hoping for a short winter!